The Prisoners of Gender:
A botched spell puts the princess in the battered warrior's body.
He's now in her petite frame, yet must rescue them both from captivity.
She soon becomes overwhelmed by male testosterone and wants to "try out the equipment."
But he's sworn to protect her virginity.
No wonder the king is royally pissed.
Excerpt:
By mid-afternoon, Bardak looked down from the rocks on the seedy village of Hajjah, not much to look at. He could imagine how it galled Saminga to have been exiled to such a place.
Judging by the number of horses in the pastures and corrals near the village, those hovels down there sheltered at least two hundred of Saminga's men. He saw little chance of even getting to Saminga, and even less likelihood of leaving the village alive, no matter what the outcome with the wizard.Mark came up and looked out over the ledge with him. "There's too many of them," he said. "Why don't we wait until dark and try to sneak in?""Because we don't know which building Saminga is in. Because I've learned that doing the unexpected can be of advantage - it usually throws the enemy off guard. Because they haven't had Janelle all that long and she might. . . still be all right. Those enough reasons for you?" Bardak turned and glared at the other man. "Besides, I've got a plan."Mark met his gaze. "Oh, thank the gods. There's no need to worry at all. The mighty warrior Bardak has a plan." He sneered. "Don't mind that he happens to be a small, weak female at the moment. He'll hit you with his handbag.""You're a fool." Bardak shook his head wearily. He stepped back from the ledge, out of sight of the village. "I don't think you'll ever get it. It's not how strong you are, how fast you are, how good you are with a sword, or even how smart you are. It's how much you believe in yourself.""And you believe you can waltz in there, rescue Janelle, force Saminga to remove the curse Volsar put on us, and ride back out again," Mark derided, stepping back and confronting him, face to face. "You're a hopeless optimist.""I believe we have a chance." Bardak raised his small, feminine hand in a fist. "And that's good enough for me.""Well, not for me." Mark said. "I prefer being in the wrong body over death. Count me out." He gave a challenging stare.Bardak locked eyes with him. "There's not much I can say to get you to save yourself. But are you telling me that you can just abandon Janelle?" Mark tried to maintain his stare, but then looked away. "They've had her for more than two days now. We don't even know if she's alive." He turned and began walking purposefully to where they'd left Garuth and the horses.Bardak followed, but couldn't keep up with the man's long strides. By the time he caught up, Mark was preparing to mount. Bardak put a hand on his arm."That's it?" His eyes pleaded with Mark. "You're just going to ride out on me? And Janelle?"Mark hesitated. "The odds are just too long, that's all.""And what about you and me?"
"Is there a 'you and me?' You've been telling me that I can never have you, remember? I know why you pulled what you did last night, you and your damned oath."Mark began to turn his face away, but Bardak put his dainty hand on Mark's chin and turned him so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Don't you understand? Isn't there any of Marissa left of you?"Mark started to make an angry reply, then stopped. His mien softened. He looked down with those fierce, predatory eyes, and tears formed. "Of course there is. That's why I love you so much, I suppose. You're still same person, despite the circumstances. I need to have your love in return, yet you've been fighting it every step of the way."Bardak sighed. "Don't you understand? I admireed Marissa from the first time I spoke to her and I love her now that I've seen the depth of her character. But you're not Marissa now, not totally, and I'm not the man I used to be, joke such as it is." He felt tears forming in his own eyes. "We need to get back to who we once were, otherwise consummation of our love would be little more than sex, and a sham and a perversion besides."Mark visibly swallowed a lump in his throat. "And so we must die to preserve the purity of our love?""I don't plan on dying. And I'll make you a deal."Mark raised an eyebrow in question."If we live through this, whether we find Janelle or not, and we are still. . . like we are, I'll be yours." He took a deep breath. "If you'll have me."With a slowness that seemed to last forever to Bardak, Mark lowered his head until their lips met. This kiss was different from the insistent ardor he'd shown last night. Rather than consuming lust, Mark's lips swore undying love. Bardak found himself once again being swept away by his female counterpart.When the kiss finally ended, Bardak felt as though he floated on the breezes, lighter than a dandelion seed. Mark gazed down at Bardak, his normally fierce eyes awash with gentle emotion.A sudden, loud, flatulent reverberation sounded close by. Bardak turned his head and saw Garuth, who had apparently been staring at them the whole time, with his mouth hanging open."Sorry," he said. Then his face underwent one of its rapid transformations, forming a wide grin. "Too many beans." | ||||||
Novels.
Excerpt:
Fourteen-year-old Brad's little sister, Becky, is abducted by a strange, ape-like creature.
He's too terrified of the dark to go after the thing to rescue her.
Twenty-some years later, his new lover and her teen-age daughter are abducted and Brad becomes the suspect.
Hounded by the police, he must brave the deepest darkness of all.
Oh, and whatever happened to little Becky?
Brad realized that the strain of being trapped underground had changed them. Tony, who had always been calm, cool and aloof on the surface, was clearly showing signs of claustrophobia. Andrew of the Ivory Tower had become a man of steel, determined to go on despite his injury. Wayne didn’t seem quite as sure of himself, Brad noticed. He, himself, was too damn scared to be sure of how it was affecting him otherwise, but his main focus was still finding Lisa and Jenny. He’d worry about getting back to the surface later. If only that damned shotgun hadn’t gone off.
“Oh, shit,” he said.“What’s the matter,” Wayne asked.“The shotgun. I set it down without thinking when I helped Andrew up. It’s buried under all that rock.”“Maybe it’s for the best,” said Wayne. “We can’t risk another cave-in. Wayne led them away. Brad stayed close to Andrew, helping him over the more difficult areas while Tony guarded the rear. Brad could see Tony was still jumpy, his flashlight jerked around to illuminate every shadow they passed. The cave was damp here and the light seemed to shimmer as it reflected from the moving water flowing down the walls. It was like Brad would imagine a dank, moist sewer, yet the air was dry.They had gone several hundred yards when, suddenly, Wayne’s Ruger went off. Brad jumped in front of Andrew to cover him in case they were being attacked and then looked for a target, but there was nothing.“What is it?” Brad whispered in a loud hiss.“Shit.”“What is it?”“I thought it was a goblin. My light hit it and I shot without stopping to be sure. Up on that ledge. But I think it’s a mummy or something. All that happened when I shot it was a big puff of dust from its chest. There are more of them up there, looks like.” “Anything else?”“Yeah, apparently it opens into a long, narrow chamber here. There are a couple of the mummies, or whatever they are, farther along the ledge. Let’s move ahead, slow and easy.”In a couple of steps, Brad could see the eerie forms of the mummies. As the men moved farther into the cavern, they walked through a gauntlet of the dead. There were desiccated corpses sitting on ledges all along the walls. Their faces were wrinkled and brown, some with a few wisps of straw-like hair still poking out from their scalps. Lips had pulled back when they dried, exposing the teeth in bizarre grimaces. They were clothed in what appeared to be dried animal skins. Brad wondered if the party’s lamps were the first light the mummies had seen in hundreds or thousands of years.The remains appeared to be human, though, not goblins. Their ears were man sized, their noses shaped like men. There were also drawings on the rock walls. Antelope, bison, coyote, deer, and many other animals were crudely rendered in line drawings of pigment. They were not elegant like the pictures Brad had once seen of cave art in Europe, which had been soaring and graceful. These were rough images, not much more that stick figures. Men were also shown, apparently carrying pointed spears to use against the animals.As they continued on, Brad watched his footing so he wouldn’t stumble over any of the cadavers on the ground. At one point he was forced to step over a leg that had apparently broken loose from its owner and fallen.“My God, this is magnificent!” Andrew said from a few feet behind. Brad looked back and saw that Andrew had stopped to look at one of the mummies. “This is a major anthropological find. No one ever expected to find such a site in the Americas.”“I’d rather have not been the one to find it,” Wayne said. “It sends chills up my spine. This is worse than any horror movie I’ve ever seen.”“No, no, this is wonderful. We have to stop for a while so I can examine them to try to determine their age.”“Andrew, I know you love science, but you’ve lost your ever-lovin’ mind if you think we’re going to stop and do research on a bunch of mummies,” Brad said. “We don’t want to end up like these guys and that should be our only concern right now.”“But. . .”“No buts, buddy,” Wayne said. “Brad’s right. These guys give me the creeps. And we’re too much out in the open here. Don’t forget the goblins attacked us the last time we were in a large chamber. Let’s move on.”Brad looked back to see how Tony was doing, since he hadn’t said anything in quite awhile. He had pulled a cross on a chain out from beneath his shirt and mumbled prayers as he clasped it in his left hand. His right hand held his automatic, which made Brad nervous because Tony jerked the gun around every time one of the others moved a lamp and caused the shadows to flicker.“Easy, Tony,” Brad said softly.Tony nodded and looked at Brad briefly but didn’t stop his prayers.They passed a beautiful, crystal-clear pond, supplied by water gushing from the wall, and then they were out of the hall of the mummies. 
Friends in Dark Places
